A week later.

Well, here I am, sitting in our family room on a mild Sunday afternoon watching hockey. When I look at pictures and think about where I was a little over a week ago, it feels very far away. It is literally so far from where I am physically right at this moment. Which means I am a person divided. My body is here, in Herndon Virginia, but my heart is still in Costa Rica.

It's been a crazy week. Upon arriving at our house and catching up with my family, I discovered that every day and night of the upcoming week was booked. I had told work that I would be back on Monday barring any extreme exhaustion or sickness. But between birthday celebrations (A.J. turned 20 on Tuesday and Gaby girl turned 8 yesterday), church commitments and work, I didn't have much time to breathe. I didn't even have a chance to even unpack until yesterday.

Just like when I arrived in Costa Rica, I knew coming home would be an adjustment. But I wasn't expecting to be so immersed right away. Maybe I was hoping for life to get back to "normal" in stages instead of all at once, I don't know. But I'm not going to lie, it's been a tad overwhelming. I'm not only overwhelmed with adjusting to my weekly activities resuming, but just being back in this country. Being back in the United States with our customs and our way of life, is different. It's a feeling that is hard for me to put into words.

At random moments, my mind likes to remind me of where I was. For example, on Thursday Sean and I went to the Caps game. The tickets came from a family who has kids in the youth group and Drew got me a set of tickets for Christmas. Sitting there in a full Verizon Center, I all of a sudden thought of the nighttime sky in La Bonita. I thought about its serenity and its vastness. The sky at night, if it is clear (which it was almost every night since it's not rainy season), is striking. Again, it's not something that can be easily and properly explained with words. Anyone reading this that has been anywhere remote knows what I'm talking about. The stars, las estrellas, are breathtaking. They are not only SO CLOSE, there are so many of them. Whole constellations can be seen instead of just partial ones. Why this aspect of the trip popped into my head at that given moment, I don't know. I'll probably never know. But it makes me feel sentimental and sad. At the time, it made me feel like I was in a room with FAR too many people. And believe it or not, I had a great time...it was a great game.

Reminders like that happen often. Usually when I look at my watch. Knowing the schedule of the CRMP workday and week, I know what they are up to down there at any given moment. Which is both good and bad. It just makes me wish I was there. And even though I KNOW I'll be going back, it doesn't help my longing to be there right now. It's hard for me to decipher what exactly that means. Yes, it means I love the place and most definitely feel called there, but my draw to Costa Rica is only getting stronger.

My wants and needs to be there aren't going to go away any time soon and I know my love affair with that country isn't over. But until the wheels are down in San Jose again, I will think and pray about it every single day.

I don't like you, March 3rd.

I mean, I knew the today would come. This trip couldn't last forever. I just did a terrible job preparing myself I guess.

When you are in one place for so long, you get used to it. Not only used to being there physically, but in my mind I was used to being here as well. I was living in Costa Rica, I didn't have to worry about driving or getting to work on time or SNOW or other commitments. But that time is over. This glorious month of February has come to an end. And what a month it was.

I am experiencing mixed feelings about the whole thing. While I know I've been here a month, I feel like I got here yesterday. While I am here, sitting IN the airport, I still cant believe I'm about to get on a plane. I've experienced all of these emotions every time I come here. While this airport (SJO) is very nice, I absolutely hate it. I hate downstairs because there is the possibility that a young gringa could get lost or have to wait by herself for over half an hour. I hate the upstairs because that's where you go when you leave. And I don't want to leave. I never want to leave.

Daniel and I left the hotel in Alajuela at 2:00 this afternoon and grabbed lunch. Then we came to the airport. He was stalling I think because he wanted to pick up the incoming group before taking me up to the dreaded departure area. We waited for the group from Duke for a little while. I introduced myself to all of them but I'm not really sure why haha. Once they were all loaded on the bus we left the airport and hung a U-turn. Through watery eyes, I made the joke to the group that they were turning back and heading home so soon. Daniel helped me get my stuff off the bus and gave me a tight hug. In English, he said "I love you", kissed me on top of my head and sent me on my way. Then he honked the horn until he was out of sight.

It was then as I was walking through the doors of the airport that every goodbye I said in the past couple of days hit me. Some people I met this trip are people that I know for a fact that I will never see again. The people in La Bonita de Changuena were so so good to me. I will miss their smiling faces and their love and trust in Jesus Christ. I wish I could bring them all with me and have them live next door.

I don't have much time before boarding, but I need to say a few thank yous:
-to Wil and Yolanda for everything. For having me, feeding me, teaching me, loving me and yes, even firing me. I loved every second with you and am so thankful for what you do.
-to Sean Devolites for actually getting my ticket. Without it, I obviously wouldn't have been able to go. And for your support and chats throughout. I can't wait for you to come this summer and am jealous of you already.
-to HUMC and the youth there for supporting me and praying for me. I miss you guys and will see you soon!!
-to my ACTUAL blood family, especially my mother. Thanks for all the cards. The guys enjoyed the Mardi Gras beads.

And thanks for reading!!
Dios les bendiga.